I’ve been MIA for

Hi, I don’t know where to begin. It’s like I haven’t been around for a while huh.. It’s been quite a while. Ever since I started to work I stopped blogging. I might be starting this whole thing up again. So within the ¾ of a year I’ve been away a lot of things have changed. I got myself two jobs one of which I quit due to the lack of hours and rather focus on the other one. What jobs? HAH! I thought you’d never ask! I got a job at Roots (Canadian based retail store) and at Ten Ren’s (Taiwan Tea Shop), I was a sales associate and am a barista for the other. Roots was an awesome time. I got to meet a group of new people for the first time in a long time. I also enjoy Ten Ren’s because it keeps my mind busy due to memorization of all the recipes as well as constantly be doing something instead of standing around. Not to mention it brought the fob side of me back to life. There’s something that happened to me that I never thought in a million years would. I fell in love. Okay, it’s cliché but what can you do? Before I start a million words on this girl I want to say that… eh.. Yeah I don’t know what I was going to say so I’m just going to jump right into it. So funny story actually.. I know you all would quotation this word but I “accidentally” added her on Facebook on Halloween day.. Okay fine, Halloween night. I was creeping on Facebook at everyone’s Halloween pictures and I saw her makeup thing of Cheshire the cat so I thought it was captivating therefore I clicked it. After looking at a few I was impressed and meant to scroll back up the page and click to the Home page. When my finger decides to click at the very moment the cursor arrives at the Add Friend button. Believe it or not, that happened. I panicked, saying to myself “Oh God, I don’t know what I’m going to do.. I don’t want to be that creepy older brother(yes she was my brother’s friend) to add the younger bro’s pretty friends of the opposite sex” I thought about retracting the friend request but as we all know very well that the notification on the phone doesn’t just disappear but instead it’ll stay there until the person has read it… I decided, okay whatever I’ll just talk to her to make it less weird. We just started hitting it off right off the bat and I asked her out it played out well and I started to have some strong interest in her. The more we talked the more I enjoyed her company so I decided I wanted to ask her out. So 4 months after we initially met I asked her out on her birthday. It’s been 5 months, 6 in a week and I’m in a bit of a sticky situation. I know I’m all about the whole “No Strings Attached” relationship thing but I find it sort of difficult to fully follow it. I am losing sight of what I believe in and conforming into my very temporary feelings and emotions. I feel like I’m stupidly obsessed which is very bad. I always think about her and how she feels therefore when she doesn’t respond with something I’m in a sense searching for I get upset and sensitive. I never thought I would become the person I am now let alone a relationship. I kinda knew that I would become like this in the back of my mind but I never believed it since I thought I was so “Strong Willed”. I want to make things work and be patient with her but all I’m doing is driving her away. I want to cry but that’s not going to do anything. I want to die but that just makes things worse. I want to quit but that goes against everything I believe in. I want to turn to someone to talk about these things but I don’t have anyone that will say something in which I’ve never really thought of. I hate how hard headed I am. I hate how I need to understand something 100% to believe it and can’t just let it be unknown. I guess my upbringing taught me that to keep myself safe from society. Any who I just wanted to update you guys and hopefully get something from what I’m going through. Please stay strong and keep your head held high. There’s nothing more important than to pull through something you see as an obstacle. You never gain without pain. I will go through a million fails even if it means I only achieve it once.